Invisible Nympho

according to sharia law you can't take your shirt off and moan while pooping and that's why I regret joining ISIS
— Dave Ditell sucks!! (@davedittell) March 17, 2015

The law may be applied completely in theocratic governments, or it may be applied partially, depending on the country. Some predominantly Islamic countries interpret Sharia and have secular judicial systems. Some have both secular and religious courts, and other have courts based only on strict interpretations of Sharia.

Sharīʿah (translation: "the path leading to the watering place"):

Quran (The book sacred to all Muslims containing the word of God)

• • “And speak good words to all people.” (2:83)
• • “The servants of the Lord of Mercy are those who walk humbly
• • on the earth, and who, when the foolish address them, reply, ‘Peace’.” (25:63)
• • “God loves those who seek to purify themselves.” (9:108)
• • “…whoever pardons and makes reconciliation – his reward is [due] from Allah. Indeed, He does not like wrongdoers.” (42:40)
• • “… those who are patient and do righteous deeds; those will have forgiveness and great reward.” (11:11)

• • “The believer does not defame, abuse, disparage, nor vilify.”
• • “You do not believe until you love for your brother (in faith and in humanity) what you love for yourself.”
• • “The world is green and delightful and God has put you in charge of it and is watching how you behave.”
• • “Show mercy to those on earth so that He Who is in Heaven (God) will show mercy on you.”
• • “Make things easy on people and do not make them difficult, and cheer people up and do not put them off (by your behavior).”
• • Women have the right to education, to marry someone of their choice, to divorce, to work, to own and sell property, to vote as well as to participate in civic and political engagement, and to be protected by the law.
• • Zakah, an obligatory charity, is collected from individuals who fall above a specific income bracket, amounting to 2.5% of their wealth. This money is redistributed to eight different groups of needy people and institutions, starting with the local needs first.
• • Children have rights that Shariah protects, including the right not to be abused. When parents get a divorce, custody is granted according to the child’s benefit.
• • Caring for the poor, orphans, widows, and the elderly is a collective responsibility of the community.
• • Animals are to be treated with kindness, and cruelty towards them is a grave sin.
• The Non-Muslim citizen (Dhimmi) - including Muslims - get rights to free food, clothing and shelter provided by the state by default.

Sharia law divides offences into two general categories: "hadd" offences, which are serious crimes with harsh penalties, and "tazir" crimes, where the punishment is decided by the judge:

•   Theft is punishable by amputation of the right hand (above).
• •  Criticizing or denying any part of the Quran is punishable by death.
• •  Criticizing or denying Muhammad is a prophet is punishable by death.
• •  Criticizing or denying Allah, the moon god of Islam is punishable by death.
• •  A Muslim who becomes a non-Muslim is punishable by death.
• •  A non-Muslim who leads a Muslim away from Islam is punishable by death.
• •  A non-Muslim man who marries a Muslim woman is punishable by death.
• •  A man can marry an infant girl and consummate the marriage when she is 9 years old.
• •  Girls' clitoris should be cut (per Muhammad's words in Book 41, Kitab Al-Adab, Hadith 5251).
• •  A woman can have 1 husband, but a man can have up to 4 wives; Muhammad can have more.
• •  A man can unilaterally divorce his wife but a woman needs her husband's consent to divorce.
• •  A man can beat his wife for insubordination.
• •  Testimonies of four male witnesses are required to prove rape against a woman.
• •  A woman who has been raped cannot testify in court against her rapist(s).
• •  A woman's testimony in court, allowed only in property cases, carries half the weight of a man's.
• •  A female heir inherits half of what a male heir inherits.
• •  A woman cannot drive a car, as it leads to fitnah (upheaval).
• •  A woman cannot speak alone to a man who is not her husband or relative.
• •  Meat to be eaten must come from animals that have been sacrificed to Allah - i.e., be Halal.
• •  Muslims should engage in Taqiyya and lie to non-Muslims to advance Islam.

When debate about a certain code in Sharia occurs, this is called fiqh (translation: "deep understanding").

(2/2) Man, I miss teaching the Fiqh of Toilets... :-) #LogicalProgression pic.twitter.com/6r3O3wwsI3
— Abu Eesa Niamatullah (@Niamatullah) March 18, 2015

Among Muslim theologists and scholars, there is a wide consensus that ignorance and illiteracy amongst the most extreme practioners of Sharia is the biggest cause for the widespread misery that strict application of Sharia can bring. 

However, Saudi Arabia, a rich oil nation boasting a literacy level between 90% and 95% and is one of the strictest practioners of Sharia law and knows no secular judicial system. Hangings, stonings and beheadings still occur regulary until this day for crimes such as apostasy (abandonment of Islam by a Muslim), adultery and theft.

Sharia was never meant to be acted out in a literal sense but more as a strict warning against insubordination of God's word.

Extremist groups like the Taliban in Afghanistan and more recently ISIS and Boko Haram in Nigeria have used the punitive sections of Sharia law in its more literal form as a way to seize power and control vast populations under an iron grip of terror.

These groups however are not representative of Islam as a whole or even Sharia law and simply represent their own malicious goals for power.