I got baptised into the local Mormon church in 2011. There was this hot Hungarian chick that wanted my sac but i didn’t make a move because her boyfriend was the most genuinely nicest guy i ever met. I just couldn’t do what’s pretty much an Alpha male’s prerogative and make his girl, my girl. I just couldn’t.
Same thing with this hot Italian chick, fucking making eyecontact while singing “Joseph Smith loves you” or some queer shit, licking her lips and whatnot… These mormons are so goddamn nice with hot ladyfriends thristy for some alpha-sack such as the one i possess between my manly-ass legs…
Good times, good stuff.
This one time I was at a housewarmingparty (mormons have a name for this but I forgot because I secretly worship Satan) talking to the Hungarian chick. Everything was going smooth until this fat fuck interrupts the conversation and decides to cockblock me..
Fuck, i have youth, looks and a baby arm holding an apple swinging between my legs to rely on.
One thing i like about East-European women is that they don’t hide what they’re feeling and it was obvious by her bored look on her face and short: yes/no answers she wanted this guy to get bent.
Advantage: The Gogo
Then something happened which no amount of game or swag can fix...
He farted.
Loudly.
And it smelled bad.
I tried to pretend nothing happened and fat fuck tries to laugh it off but the Hungarian chick and her girlfriend just gave him the meanest fucking look i’ve ever seen in my life until he literally moved to the other of the room with his tail between his legs.
I felt bad at the time but in hindsight it was the funniest thing ever.
Little did i know, for months to come, beef was on between and him and every encounter with a new female member became some weird, Twillight Zone-y, Mormon armsrace to the clit.
He quickly found that going toe to toe with the Gogo was not an experience he would relish and since then we’ve squashed beef, he became my wingman and we’ve agreed to divide new incumming Mormon-poontang 50/50 just like the great Joseph S. Smith intended from the beginning.
So did I basically have a wingman who will show up and scare the women to me via fatness and farting?
Yep.
He’s not aware of how it works though.
In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Same thing with this hot Italian chick, fucking making eyecontact while singing “Joseph Smith loves you” or some queer shit, licking her lips and whatnot… These mormons are so goddamn nice with hot ladyfriends thristy for some alpha-sack such as the one i possess between my manly-ass legs…
Good times, good stuff.
Fuck, i have youth, looks and a baby arm holding an apple swinging between my legs to rely on.
It’s cool. Let’s see what this guy’s made of.
One thing i like about East-European women is that they don’t hide what they’re feeling and it was obvious by her bored look on her face and short: yes/no answers she wanted this guy to get bent.
Advantage: The Gogo
Then something happened which no amount of game or swag can fix...
He farted.
Loudly.
And it smelled bad.
I tried to pretend nothing happened and fat fuck tries to laugh it off but the Hungarian chick and her girlfriend just gave him the meanest fucking look i’ve ever seen in my life until he literally moved to the other of the room with his tail between his legs.
I felt bad at the time but in hindsight it was the funniest thing ever.
Little did i know, for months to come, beef was on between and him and every encounter with a new female member became some weird, Twillight Zone-y, Mormon armsrace to the clit.
He quickly found that going toe to toe with the Gogo was not an experience he would relish and since then we’ve squashed beef, he became my wingman and we’ve agreed to divide new incumming Mormon-poontang 50/50 just like the great Joseph S. Smith intended from the beginning.
So did I basically have a wingman who will show up and scare the women to me via fatness and farting?
Yep.
He’s not aware of how it works though.
In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
- 06:11
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